LIVE FROM THE MET GALA... IT'S MR. AL

We bring you this special edition of Mr. Al’s Wacky World of Weirdness from the Met Gala in New York City.

            The gala is held every year at the Costume Institute of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. People wear all kinds of crazy costumes to this event. That’s why I’m all dressed up.

            As a great lover of art and fashion, I am so happy to cover the Met Gala. And you thought I was just a beer and hot dog guy. I do it all folks. Afterall, I’ve got that 1970s poster of Pam Grier from the movie “Foxy Brown.” Man, you should see it under the black light.

            This event marks the opening of the museum’s spring fashion exhibition.

            I’m your red-carpet correspondent with all the news. I’m wearing my biggest black pimple patch with a matching cummerbund. You can’t be overdressed for an event like this.

You should see all the celebrities at this event. From the music world there’s Beyonce in a shimmering skeleton outfit and Kim Kardashian from whatever world she’s from. Tom Cruise is here dressed as a Campbell’s soup can. I told you the costumes are crazy.

             Amazon founder Jeff Bezos and his wife, Lauren Sanchez Bezos, are here. Good thing he’s a billionaire with all the plastic surgery she’s had. Let’s see if I can get a word with Jeff.

            Jeff, can you spot me a hundred dollars. I need money for cab fare. Jeff’s ignoring me. Cheap bastard, even if he donates millions to charity. Let’s move on. There’s movie star Kevin Costner. He’s talking to President Donald Trump. Let’s listen to what Kevin Costner is telling the president.

            “Build a ballroom and they will come.”

            “I think I’ve heard that line before from one of your movies Kevin. Thanks for coming.”

            There you have it folks Kevin Costner and President Trump.

There’s They/Them/ He/She/It Congress-critter Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez better known to her supporters as AOC. She’s wearing a stunning Tax The Rich white gown and carrying a stuffed doll of New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani, who couldn’t be here. He was too busy being a socialist disguised as a Democrat.

            But let’s fill you in on the rest of the day’s news before we're out of time.

            The new season of “The Apprentice – White House” begins this week. It’s where ordinary citizens get to run the country for President Trump. Good luck everybody even if the host gives you a hard time. It’s available on the Never Tell The Truth Podcast and streaming down the Hudson River.

            Mayor Mamdani has announced he will host New York’s first Woke Appreciation Day Parade complete with a Karl Marx impersonator dressed in drag.  

The Democratic party has announced its presidential ticket and boy is it a doozy. If the comedy team of Kamala Harris and Tim Walz made you laugh, wait till I tell you what the Dems have up their sleeves.

            The 2028 Democratic ticket will feature none other than Rick and Morty. If you’re not familiar with the adult animated science fiction sitcom “Rick and Morty,” let me tell you the Democrats finally have a ticket that will entertain voters if nothing else.

            Rick is an alcoholic mad scientist. Morty is his fretful 14-year-old grandson. They sound over-qualified to me. Rick and Morty are here at the gala too getting a head start on the campaign.

            They’re talking up Kylie Jenner. Kylie’s dressed in a skintight-skin tone top that makes her look naked from the waist up. I like that. I’m getting a boner.

            My sister, Elise, lives in Brooklyn, but she couldn’t be here today. She’s at work. She’s a normal person with a normal job. She dresses normal too.

            My coworker, Joiada Guerra, says the attendees at The Met Gala dress like the party people at the capital from The Hunger Games movies. And the rest of us are like the commoners from the various districts. I think she’s right.

            So, there you have it ladies and gentlemen. That’s all I got for you. They’re about to throw me out of this joint. Former FBI Director James Comey has just pasted the number 86 on my tuxedo using seashells. I want him investigated.

            Like Porky Pig used to say on Looney Tunes… that’s all folks!