Mr.Al's Blog

Waterfalls are beautiful. My favorite is Multnomah Falls in Oregon’s Columbia River Gorge. I think most folks love waterfalls. They are a wonder of nature. And so are the waterfalls at the desert middle school where I work doing campus security. How did they get that kind of aquatic feature on campus? It’s not like they had the budget to build one. Right now, I’m standing in the middle of what they call the quad. We have an open-air campus. The student

That’s A Awful Lot Of Cough Syrup. At the school where I work as a hall monitor, everywhere I turn I see teenagers wearing T-shirts with that phrase. I am drowning in a sea of middle school reprobates wearing shirts that say that. Why Lord why? And at the end of the school year, the Lord sayeth unto me, “Get with it Mr. Al. That’s A Awful Lot of Cough Syrup is a brand you dummy. “ “It is Lord?” I asketh as if I was in church. “It’s a highly

What follows is a work of fiction. All names, characters, incidents and dialogue are creations of the author’s imagination At the school where I work as a bouncer for sixth, seventh and eighth graders there’s this guy named Joel Fossil. He’s the misbehavior specialist at Todos Los Santos Middle School. He works in the misappropriately named Student Success Office. Yeah, that’s actually the guy’s name, Joel Fossil. With a name like that he’s definitely

We bring you this special edition of Mr. Al’s Wacky World of Weirdness from the Met Gala in New York City. The gala is held every year at the Costume Institute of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. People wear all kinds of crazy costumes to this event. That’s why I’m all dressed up. As a great lover of art and fashion, I am so happy to cover the Met Gala. And you thought I was just a beer and hot dog guy. I do it all folks. Afterall, I’ve got that 1970s p

If you were a middle school or high school student these days, you might have one of these rings. It’s a double-finger-fake-gold-plated-hundred-dollar-Hip Hop-ring. I think they look swell. Only old people use the word swell, not young people. The term swell as in we had a swell time is as outdated as I am. Some people refer to this kind of ring as a nugget ring. They are using the term interchangeably to refer to a number of rings including rings that look like they ac