Donald Trump Needs A Pet

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The problem with this White House is they don’t have any pets. No dogs. No cats. Nothing.

            They really need some.

            Joe Biden and his wife, Jill, had German Shepherds, Major and Champ. Joe was not a great president. No one will ever confuse him with Washington or Lincoln or Chester A. Arthur. But I know he loved his dogs. He also had a cat.

            The Obamas had a male Portuguese water dog, whatever that is. George and Laura Bush had two dogs and a cat. George W. Bush had an English Springer Spaniel.

            Bill Clinton, who was a horn dog when it came to the ladies, had a black and white cat named “Socks.” He also had a chocolate Labrador Retriever. The two didn’t get along. Kind of like the Democrats and the Republicans. Unlike our two major parties, pets are nonpartisan, unless they’re an elephant or a donkey.

             I think President Trump should get a Pit Bull and name him Veto with an exclamation point. Veto! That's a great name, if only Trump had a dog. Sure beats Tariff! It’s just un-American not having a dog in the White House.

Can you imagine President Trump talking baby-talk to a Pit Bull. No? Me neither. I once choked on a dog biscuit. That's because I had mistaken it for an oatmeal cookie.

            A dog would help the president’s image. Make him a little more warm and fuzzy. I know warm and fuzzy isn’t the president’s schtick, but a dog would help relax him.

            Being president is really stressful. Pets are needed. I don’t think we should elect anyone to Congress if they don’t have some kind of pet. Fish are fine. Even a snake that you have to feed a mouse every now and then is okay.

            President McKinley had a parrot that whistled whenever a woman came into the room. The parrot would say, “Oh look at all the pretty girls.”

            President Trump doesn’t have to get a parrot, maybe, he could get a cat and call her Miss Pussy. What do you think?

President Andrew Jackson whose soldiers in the Tennessee militia nicknamed him "Old Hickory," for his toughness during the War of 1812, had a soft spot for animals. He used to feed the mice who inhabited the White House. I wonder if he took them to the veterinaran when they were sick.

Washington had anywhere from 30 to 50 dogs on his estate. Mostly hounds and other dogs that he used for hunting and work around the farm. Can you imagine cleaning up after 50 dogs? Yikes.

            The nice thing about a president having a dog is this. He can throw it a bone every once in a while, which is something presidents rarely do for the American people.