Mr.Al's Blog

A Very Interesting Flight I live in the woods in The Great Northwest. I love it there. But come summer the mosquitoes can be a bit much, especially when they swarm. I go through a lot of DEET maximum strength insect repellent. The insect repellant irritates my skin like heck. So bad sometimes that big patches of hair fall off my back. But it sure beats West Nile virus, Lyme disease or some other dreaded condition that makes you bleed fr

I live in Las Vegas, the desert capital of capitalism. As such, I believe Las Vegas cannot survive without a socialist mayor. You know like they have in New York City and Seattle. Socialist mayors. They’re the latest rage. Spread the wealth like cream cheese on a bagel. I’m all for it. Think Zohran Mamdani. He wants you, the little guy, to take a big bite out of the Big Apple. Then there’s Seattle’s Katie Wilson, who describes herself as a Democratic Socialist. Wo

Flaquita Torres is supposed to be in Mr. Peeber’s 7th grade science class. Instead, she’s in the wrong place, lamenting how her boyfriend, Ray Ray Johnson has been suspended for the rest of the year for fighting. I’m just an old man who works as a hall monitor at an at-risk middle school. The words coming out of Flaquita’s mouth are in English, but I have no idea what they mean. “I miss my Shayla,” Flaquita says. “I thought Ray Ray was your boyfriend. I’m confused. Do you

Waterfalls are beautiful. My favorite is Multnomah Falls in Oregon’s Columbia River Gorge. I think most folks love waterfalls. They are a wonder of nature. And so are the waterfalls at the desert middle school where I work doing campus security. How did they get that kind of aquatic feature on campus? It’s not like they had the budget to build one. Right now, I’m standing in the middle of what they call the quad. We have an open-air campus. The student

That’s A Awful Lot Of Cough Syrup. At the school where I work as a hall monitor, everywhere I turn I see teenagers wearing T-shirts with that phrase. I am drowning in a sea of middle school reprobates wearing shirts that say that. Why Lord why? And at the end of the school year, the Lord sayeth unto me, “Get with it Mr. Al. That’s A Awful Lot of Cough Syrup is a brand you dummy. “ “It is Lord?” I asketh as if I was in church. “It’s a highly