Mr.Al's Blog

If you were a middle school or high school student these days, you might have one of these rings. It’s a double-finger-fake-gold-plated-hundred-dollar-Hip Hop-ring. I think they look swell. Only old people use the word swell, not young people. The term swell as in we had a swell time is as outdated as I am. Some people refer to this kind of ring as a nugget ring. They are using the term interchangeably to refer to a number of rings including rings that look like they ac

Hello everybody. Good evening and welcome to The White House. We are here in this special 4,500-seat arena built on the lawn of The White House to bring you the fight of the century between Pope Leo and President Donald Trump. I’m your host Mauro Ranallo. I’m joined here with our experts, fight analyst Max Kellerman and former boxing champion Andre Ward. Netflix is streaming this event live around the world. Andre we go to you first. What are your thoughts about this fight

It’s the first day of the U.S. military action in Iran. Mr. Al goes to the Three Kegs Saloon to drown his sorrows. He meets a woman named Epic Fury. Ms. Fury asks Mr. Al if he’d like to accompany her on a vacation to sunny Tehran. Mr. Al politely declines as he stares at her cleavage. “But I hear the Strait of Hormuz is nice this time of year,” he tells her. “I always wanted to swim with the oil tankers.” Unbeknownst to Mr. Al at the time of his seduction by Epic Fury, a hi

Oh Kristi, I’d like to be Ken to your ICE Barbie. My lust for you is as big as an endless blue sky. From the moment I saw you in that TV commercial for Department of Homeland Security, I lost all control. You know the commercial Kristi. The one where you ride a horse with Mount Rushmore in the background. Your long brown hair flowing under your cowboy hat. The ultimate American fantasy. “You cross the border illegally, we’ll find you. Break our laws we’ll punish you.” Sex

Vinnie Pizzeria My name is Vinnie Pizzeria. No this ain’t a joke. That’s really my name. I got a pizza joint in the Belmont section of The Bronx. It’s where Dion and The Belmonts came from. Now I know you youngsters don’t know Dion and The Belmonts from prosciutto, but I do. At my joint we still serve pizza by the slice on wax paper. When you eat it, the orange oil created from the sauce and cheese runs off the wax paper. And if