Mr.Al's Blog

Vinnie Pizzeria My name is Vinnie Pizzeria. No this ain’t a joke. That’s really my name.                 I got a pizza joint in the Belmont section of The Bronx. It’s where Dion and The Belmonts came from. Now I know you youngsters don’t know Dion and The Belmonts from prosciutto, but I do. At my joint we still serve pizza by the slice on wax paper. When you eat it, the orange oil created from the sauce and cheese runs off the wax paper.                 And if

If I were president of the United States of America, not king, not prince, not duke, not earl, I’d go to Minnesota. And the first thing I’d do is deport the entire starting lineup of the Minnesota Vikings. The Vikings are so bad, I’d outlaw football in Minnesota. And I’d prohibit the Minnesota Twins from signing Latino baseball players. Not a one. Not that I’m prejudiced or anything. And I’d name White House Border Czar Tom Homan manager of the Twins. We interrupt this blog

I just woke up. Still half asleep and dressed in nothing more than a green T-shirt and underwear. Try to control yourself ladies. I’m one of those people who believes climate change is very, very real. If that makes me a left wing radical nutjob, so be it. Go get the nutcracker.                 That’s why I’m launching right here and now, Mr. Al’s first ever Disheveled Woke Weather Report.  Move over Al Roker. Get out of the way Rob Marciano. Fuggetaboutit Ginger Zee. Tune i

There aren’t any good Venezuelan restaurants inside the MDC Brooklyn where Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro and his lawyer wife, Cilia Flores are locked up. I feel really bad for them. They’re used to the high life. They used to be very cosmopolitan. Now they’re in a place packed with lowlifes.                 Poor Nicolas Maduro. Poor Cilia Flores. I mean where are they going to get a good arepa? Those cornmeal pockets stuffed with meat are to die for. No pabellon criollo

SPECIAL REPORT: Mr. Al is bringing you this special report from the men’s room of a bar somewhere in Caracas, Venezuela.                 I am performing my monthly testicular self-exam and I’ve got to say my balls feel really good today. They’re producing lots of testosterone. That’s why I’m renaming them Donald and JD. I also hope Donald and JD (the real Donald and JD) in other words not my testicles know what that they’re doing with Venezuela.